Two strangers become one enlightening experience

I’ve discovered an appreciation for traditions and ceremonies on this adventure to India. It has been fun to witness different ways things are done and begin to understand why they are done differently here. This evening we had an opportunity to attend a traditional Kerala Christian wedding ceremony at the family church. I began to understand a little part of why Philip’s mom may not have initially been delighted about our union when I watched her react to witnessing the traditional nuptials that took place this evening. She won’t ever be able to have that for her oldest son and I know that would bring her joy. Although, I believe that she has received much joy toting me around and telling everyone that I “looooove India” and that I “loooove” all of her cooking. She has proudly introduced me to nearly half of the population of India’s second most populated city. We arrived late—all 5 crammed into the matchbox car--to the wedding because Philip’s mom is slow, but a seat at the back of the church was more than adequate as this was truly my first experience being the absolutely only white person. Actually, I did not notice this until it was pointed out to me by Philip at the reception. He has however been in several such reversed situations where he was the only non-white person. I was somewhat fixated on the nuptials and the arrangement of the meeting of the bride and groom. This was an arranged marriage. The bride and groom met only a couple months ago and even during that time have not spent time getting to know one another. That will happen after the marriage. According to Philip (who was sort of half-kidding but there is truth to it), that the process of getting to know one another actually started this evening at the reception when siblings, uncles and friends were giving toasts and describing one to the other and vice versa. I spent some time trying to put myself into the shoes of the bride and found that difficult. At the reception, she was seated on stage rather awkwardly next to her new husband knowing just a little more than I know about him now. The plan now is for her to move to Bombay to be with him and move in with his family. The ceremony took place in 2 languages. I’m embarrassed to admit that as the Malayalam portion was being read or sung, I somehow had the Lee Greenwood song, “I’m Proud to be an American” playing in my head. I think it was because I felt the relief I did not see from the bride of actually knowing the man I was going to marry before I married him. Most of the nicest couples I have met here were arranged marriages. As I have spent time here over the last couple of weeks I have gained a clearer understanding of the concept of arranged marriages and why it is an important part of this culture. I hadn’t before thought about how we don’t get the question “where did you meet?” here. I suppose that is not an often asked question as the response is generally the same: “my parents took me to her parents house and then we went into the front room and I asked her some questions and she seemed better than the last gal they hooked me up with so I gave my dad a nod on the way out and here we are today.” The reception was lovely with a ton of food and close to 350 people—most of them Philip’s parents knew and had to introduce us. ”Come, come Gretchen. This is one of my sister’s best friends and dad’s second cousin’s wife’s youngest sister.”

Uh-oh!

Our driving lessons continued today. I think Pratap would be a fine driver in America because he appreciates rules. Here there are virtually no road rules. We just arrived back from a trip into the city for breakfast and shopping. Pratap drove. On our return trip, a truck braked without warning in front of him when his focus was on a fallen concrete structure in the road so he ran into the back of it. Quite a ding to the front of the family car, but nobody was hurt and the truck driver didn’t even take notice. We are all waiting with trepidation for Philip’s dad to get up so that Pratap can give him the news. I am content to stay out of this one.While in the city today, we closed one of Philip’s bank accounts. Visiting the bank here is not unlike visiting the DMV in the states. It took so long for us to get the attention of someone and the process of getting money out was completely inefficient. There were a lot of people working there not doing anything.

Mahabalipuram

Mahabalipuram is a city located on the Bay of Bengal. It took us nearly 3 ½ hours by car because of terrible roads and tough traffic. We took a different route home and were back in only 2 hours. It is a recommended visit because of Hindu temples carved from granite. These temples are over 1600 years old and each were created out of single blocks of stone. Some of the carvings were very intricate, but only one is completed because a series of wars began while they were being created. There were an unbelievable number of beggars in this small town. Many would follow me around and call out or just follow me with an open hand. Some are very small children who have been trained what to say and how to ask. Philip and Pratap walk a little faster than me, but I had to keep moving in step with them to get away and prevent them from blocking me. There were also people trying to see trinkets, toys and keepsakes. I was identified as a target by a number of these individuals and practically chased around the park. Philip did finally purchase a small drum from a man. It is hand-crafted from camel leather and mango wood and cost us about $3. Before bargaining, he wanted $20 for it. It helps a lot that Philip speaks most of the languages spoken here and can tell people (politely) to bug off. When we got to the top of the temples, Pratap warned me to watch out for pick-pockets. Little did I know that he was referring to the 20 or so MONKEYS that were scurrying about the park. Apparently, in a very Aladdin-style way they have been trained to take wallets and bags from people. More often, though, they just take the food from your hand. Only one got a little too close for comfort for me. The rest roamed the ground minding their own business. I have never seen monkeys in the wild like that—only in zoos. It was quite an experience. We met a lot of family member’s today. I think by our reception in 2 days we will have met all 90+ of the people attending. Most of the people we’ve met are family members, but some are distant relatives all anxious to see Philip as it has been 4 years since his last visit and to meet me, his wife. In the evening we met Philip’s mom’s youngest sister, Elsie. She has 2 grown children who are 21 and 24. She lives in Kerala and they came by train to attend the reception. They are staying with Philip’s aunt, Mary. They shared many stories (some in English) about what a mischievous child Philip used to be. One rather humorous story involved Philip convincing a cousin to shave one of his eyebrows.

Driver’s Ed in India

This morning we rose at 4:30am to take Pratap out to teach him to drive. We had to get up early to beat some of the traffic. He has been driving for a couple months, but lacks confidence and a patient teacher. I shared that I certainly would not want the experience of learning to drive in India and that my learning experience couldn’t have been more different from learning to drive here. Pratap drove us to a hotel near his work for breakfast. I appreciated the slow trip because I could see everything we passed and take a few photos that aren’t a complete blur. Philip suggests that Pratap drive to work instead of taking the motorcycle because he’d be better protected. I suggest he practice more with being assertive and maneuvering amongst the other cars, bikes, etc.We visited the Amazon office in Madras today. Philip met several of his co-workers who he has only spoken with on the phone. Pratap and I hung out in the food court of the office building while he went up to say hi. They were shocked to see him here and even more shocked to hear that he actually drove to the office. I was introduced to an unfamiliar kind of citrus fruit—kambili narangya. It is the largest citrus fruit I’ve ever seen—practically the size of a human head. Philip’s uncle sent it back with his parents from Kerala so that we could try it. It was HORRIBLE. It was not juicy at all and felt and tasted like grapefruit covered toothpicks. I’ve also tried about 11 different kinds of bananas and plantains. All the shops have bananas and coconuts for sale.Two of Philip’s aunts live very close by. They sort of breeze in and out of here at their leisure. I’m sure they are harmless, but seem to have a rough exterior. It is understandable, though, as they raised Philip and have a very maternal attachment to him. They just don’t get my jokes. Maybe I talk too fast when I make a joke. Philip’s mom had to warn his aunt in Malayalam this morning that I can understand their conversations and to not talk about me when I’m in the room. I find that amusing.

Unfortunate Christmas Surprise

We returned home to discover that severe damage had been done to the house when a fridge caught fire in the dining room while we were gone. The dining room and living room spaces were really damaged from fire, smoke and water. The fire department had to break through a door to get into the house. Several friends, relatives and neighbors had come to assess the damage, but no clean up occurred. The walls and ceilings are totally black (usually white) and the white marble floors which are throughout the house are either wet or covered in soot. The 2 of us were immediately ready to dive in and begin clean up—especially where we saw standing water upwards of 3 inches in Pratap and Philip’s parents’ bedrooms. We were really discouraged from starting the clean-up process as Philip’s dad was already on the phone contacting people to come to clean the floors and ceilings. We began making comparisons about how so much of this we’d do ourselves in America, but here you wait to have someone else come to take care of it. India is still very much a classist society. The servants take care of laundry, most cooking, and cleaning of the home. When I discovered that most of our clothes had either been ruined by the smoke damage or needed to be rewashed to see if we could salvage them, I offered to do the laundry myself. Philip said that this would really offend the servant if I assisted. Also, he asked if I really wanted to stand on the terrace and rub our soaped up clothes against a rock to get them clean. I forgot that I can’t just shove them into a machine and push ‘start’. Everything is also hung to dry. I initially found myself a bit self-conscious about having someone wash my underwear and then hang it outside on the line to dry; now, of course, it has had to happen twice! So, today we are spending the day assisting a gentleman who is making less than $10 for the whole day of cleaning the floors. Remarkably, most of the damage is superficial and there is not a huge loss of items with sentimental value. The dishes have to all be cleaned as they have a layer of soot. We have had to eat the last 3 meals in the guest bedroom with most of us seated on the bed because the damage has left us nowhere to sit. The bedroom where we’ve been sleeping suffered no damage other than soot all over the floors and we were required to really wipe down the furniture as it also had some soot remaining. I did get a little case of cabin fever today. I was ready to go out and about to see or do something. We had a few visitors…cousins, aunts, nieces and nephews. Most of the day was clean up and relax. Philip’s mom is looking forward to sharing the t.v. show ‘Indian Idol’ with me tonight. The songs are sung in Hindi. There is a young boy who is the superstar on the show and reminds her of Rian because he didn’t talk until he was 9. Philip’s mom thinks Rian should move to India and learn Hindi so that he can be the next ‘Indian Idol’ and win a big flat (apartment) in Bangalore.Because of the damage from the fire, our second reception has been moved to the church auditorium. Many phone calls were made today to let people know of the change.

Where the Bengal Tiger’s natural habitat is much closer

Most of our morning was spent in Trivandrum. We headed out shortly after breakfast to the entertainment center of the city where we visited the zoo and museums. As Philip stood in line to get our tickets, I was swarmed with young children and a few adults interested in finding out where I am from and looking for someone to help them practice their sketchy English. One young girl translated for her friend and grandmother and we talked about why I was there, where I came from and why Philip didn’t marry an Indian. The zoo was familiar as it had many of the same animals you see at the Woodland Park Zoo. I expected so see a few more native animals. I did see many cobras in the reptile exhibit. It was interesting to read about them and their habitat, etc. We had heard that Philip’s uncle had a couple in his yard at the farm. We also saw a rather feisty Bengal Tiger. He was caged away from the other tigers and was expressing his unhappiness with loud ‘roars’ and sliding quickly around his wet cage. We finished at the zoo, and took my first auto-rickshaw ride back to the hotel for lunch at the coffee shop. Then we headed to meet the rest of the family to catch our one hour plane ride back to Chennai.

Christmas Eve at The Arabian Sea

Our morning schedule here has been all about rising early. This morning we were up and ready to go by 5:30 which is later than our usual. The breakfast buffet was not open yet, so we spent some time planning our day. We decided to take a tour of the city and got a driver from the tour company. Breakfast was a welcome feast because it contained a nice mix of homestyle American food and traditional Indian breakfast food. I mixed french toast and coconut masala for a yummy meal.
The day out was nice and relaxing as we could go at our own pace. We visited a Hindu temple which doesn't allow anyone who is not Hindu to visit and, more than that, does not allow "foreigners". Although, Philip could pass as Hindu, we weren't feeling lucky about me slipping by as a native, so we just accepted a tour of the exterior from a local who exchanged education for rupees.
Our visit to the Arabian Sea was the most spectacular experience. Most of the people there are wealthy Europeans on vacation from colder climates or locals trying to make a buck by selling fruit or a spot on the lounge chair they set up. The water is incredibly warm and after spending a good part of the afternoon there I now have quite the sunburn and Philip has a nice dark tan.
A highlight of the day was visiting the Leela Kempinski Kovalam resort. It sits high above the Arabian Sea and offers incredible views and amazing food. We enjoyed coconut water, a sweet lassi, and chicken and goat curry. The food was some of the most spicy I've had but also the most delicious. It's funny how quickly I've gotten used to eating with my hands and not using utensils over the last few days. I suppose since I didn't have a choice, I adapted so that I could eat. It felt a little strange today to be seated among Europeans at lunch who were dining using utensils and since I had traditional South Indian cuisine, I just ate with my hands like I have been. I didn't think anything of it until I caught the waiter's look of surprise. We spent about 1 1/2 hours there enjoying the Indian opulence, yet being amazed that our lunch of drinks, food, etc. only set us back about $25 American--for 2 of us.
I still have this thing I can't let go of about leaving the driver out to sit and wait for us while we dine, sightsee or shop. They just sit in the car or near the car waiting for us to finish whatever we decided to do and it seems sort of odd to me. Today I wanted to invite our driver to join us for lunch, but thought it would be more awkward for him than for us. Of course, today the driver did seem to have a bit of his own agenda. When we suggested that we'd like to go check out the local shops for some handicrafts, he was quite happy to take us to what are likely 2 of the more expensive places in town and where we are more than sure he receives a nice kickback when his "clients" make a purchase. He didn't make any extra cash from us. We experienced a lot of pressure from the salesmen at the shops, though. I know they appreciate 'foreign' (particularly American) visitors, but it was a bit extreme.
It is Christmas Eve here and we are getting ready to go downstairs for another fine dining experience in the hotel. Tomorrow the rest of the family will be meeting us at the airport to return to Chennai. Here's wishing everyone a very Merry and Spicy Christmas!

Just the two of us...and about a million Trivandrums

We were astonished to discover a surprise in the lobby of the hotel this evening. As we walked through on our way to the room, we saw a sign that read "Oregon Systems Meeting". We both looked around for familiar faces, but found none (ha) and have no idea what the sign really meant. The hotel is nice and I always appreciate having a bathroom with toilet paper and a separate shower. This is the first bathroom I've used in India that has an enclosed shower. Usually you just stand in the room and everything gets wet while you shower. We had dinner at the bbq place on the terrace this evening. The view was really amazing and I can tell already that this is a much cleaner, much better kept city.

Family, Food and Fun

Today was the first of 2 receptions being hosted for us while we’re in India. It was held at the hotel where we’ve been staying. There were about 100 people there—some of whom Philip has never met and most of whom I’ve never met. The celebration was to begin at 12pm, but at 11:30 Philip’s dad came to the room to get us and took us downstairs to meet the couple dozen early arrivers. Several guests had travelled over 130 kilometers to join us. Philip’s cousin, Saji, was the m.c. for the event and had his family perform as the entertainment. Although, many other guests did not understand him, he spoke in English for the introductions, etc. so that I could understand. I was referred to as “Mrs. Gretchen” throughout the presentations. His son first sang a song in Hindi (one of the 18 official languages of India and the most commonly spoken next to English). His daughter then sang a song in the local language of Malayalam. The final song was a special tribute –his wife attempted to sing “Mary’s Boy Child” in English. Some found that one a bit tough to sit through as the others were young children and their cuteness compensated for their poor singing abilities. His wife was not as cute, but the performance was appreciated nonetheless. Finally, Ciya (Philip’s cousin’s daughter) tried her best to sing Silent Night in English, but forgot the words halfway through the second verse. Whew!
I’ve been feeling sorry for Pratap, Philip’s brother, as everyone won’t lay off about him finding a wife and getting married. As often as Philip gets called fat, Pratap gets asked about when he is getting married. Even during the presentation, it was mentioned that we’ll all be getting together once again here next year to celebrate Pratap’s marriage. He has no interest in getting hitched anytime soon, but he most certainly feels the pressure.
After the entertainment portion, we all ate a grand meal of a selection of meat curries, and vegetarian options with fruit and ice cream for dessert. By 3pm most guests had left and we took several photos and headed to our room to gather our things so that we could catch a car to Trivandrum which is where we are this evening. We tried to drag Pratap along, but he said that he doesn’t like to have fun so it’s just the two of us exploring the area tomorrow. I’m excited to be at the southern most tip of India!

A Rough Ride

We rose early to join Philip’s dad, mom, brother and uncle for a trip to the backwaters of Kerala – On the list of 1000 places to visit before you die. They showed up at the hotel at 7am and we loaded into the back of a SUV called a Tata Sumo. After an hour of bumpy roads and being bounced around the back end of the car we stopped for a breakfast of idlis(soft steamed rice cakes) and dosas(rice crepes). We drove thru many small Kerala towns where seeing elephants on the road was as common as seeing cows. And after another two hours of being tossed around we arrived at our destination to learn that reservation had not been made. Neither had decisions on what we were planning to do. Before boarding we needed to use the bathrooms which was Gretchen’s first experience with the hole in the floor. With all 6 of us and the driver putting our heads together we finally decided to take a 4 hour boat “cruise” thru the backwaters. So the 6 of us had the whole 30ft boat to ourselves. The two of us immediately climbed onto the roof to enjoy the view and the sun.

This made Philip’s mom worried that we would fall off the side. The image of swaying coconut palms and the still backwaters made for quite the picture perfect landscape. We saw several homes whose only connection to the outside world was via boat. And these boats are usually small canoe like craft. The canal that we were cruising on was also where they did their laundry, gave their kids a bath and did their dishes. We passed through the canal to a huge lagoon like bay where we docked at a floating restaurant for lunch. The specialty for lunch was karimeen. A very elusive fish that is caught in these backwaters. Philip warned me to be careful of the small bones that are found in this fish. We also had the largest prawn that I have ever seen. It was the size of a small lobster.
We reboarded our personal craft and headed to where the lagoon meets the Arabian Sea. On our way back we passed a pretty spectacular resort and a bird sanctuary. The ride back was pretty short and the entire was a loop of sorts. Once we got off the boat we headed towards Kottayam t o visit another friend of the family. Visiting friends on long journey seems to be the norm here. And “not out of the way” and “very close by” hold completely different meanings in this part of the world.
It was another long arduous ride back to the hotel with 3 more stops thrown in. The first was for fresh fruit juice, the second was baked goods at supposedly one of the best bakeries in those parts. And last but not least a stop to buy bananas which are an overly abundant resource and are sold everywhere. Choosing what bananas you want here is not as easy a choice as deciding between getting regular bananas or organic bananas. There are over a dozen varieties of bananas each with its own shape, size, color and taste. This ended up being our dinner. We requested to be taken back straight to the hotel because the rough ride, the pollution and being jostled around in the back made us a little queasy and we just wanted to take hot showers(haven’t been able to predict the availability of hot water ) and go to bed.
We have had some consistent experiences here. Everybody stares. We first noticed this when we went to lunch with Philip’s mom and there was an Indian movie star seated near us and a British family of 4 seated behind us. Philip’s mom’s attention was directed on these individuals for the entire meal. It was a very blatant stare and when asked about it, Philip’s mom argued that it was not impolite, but a compliment to be stared at. Well, if that is the case, I have received so many compliments on this trip—especially in Kerala where seeing a “foreigner” is a rare occurrence. In fact, while dining this morning a whole family proudly watched me order breakfast, drink coffee and hold conversations with Philip.

Once in a Lifetime

Today we had the grand experience of riding an elephant. We had requested setting up an elephant ride for us as I had this totally inaccurate perception that all Indians have ridden elephants and that it is as common as riding a horse in the U.S. As of today, Philip is one of the only Indians in his family to have ridden an elephant.
This was an exciting adventure that began with an early morning trek to a State Park Reserve where they train elephants for logging, to participate in festivals and processions, to socialize them with humans and for the occasional movie role. We got up close to pet and take photos of several elephants of all sizes. They dined on coconut palm leaves as we watched them. Philip and I rode an adult female elephant together. Her name was Priyadarshini and she was huge and had small tusks! We removed our shoes and Philip boarded first. Priya had a coir rope doubled round her neck and Philip wrapped his bare feet into the rope—no saddle. I climbed on behind him and held on very tight around his waist. Once we got settled, Priya was led slowly around the camp and up and down hills. Philip’s mom stood away taking many photos and trying to contain her nerves. When we reached a ditch that we had to cross, I could only refer to experiences on a horse where the horse would take a solid leap across the ditch. Fortunately, Priya did not leap, but just took a nice soft step over the ditch. One small step for Priya, one giant leap for a horse. Whew! When we got off, we spent some time thanking the individuals who led us around the park and gave Priya a nice pat on the trunk. We had to let her get another drink of water before the next 2 individuals boarded.

A “5 Star Hotel” in “God’s Own Country”

Yesterday we left Chennai to fly to meet and celebrate with the Cherian’s in the state of Kerala. A large reception has been arranged for us here at a hotel. We are staying at the hotel which, although pleasant, is not quite the 5 star quality resort we were led to believe it would be. Philip’s mom, Philip and I flew here yesterday (about an hour and a half) and Pratap and Philip’s dad will arrive this morning. They are superstitious about all of the family flying on one flight. Philip’s mom does not like to fly, and we were given one seat apart from the others which I gladly took. When we arrived I did have a few minutes of nervousness as we got off the plane and I couldn’t locate my counterparts. Everyone was taking buses back to the airport and I had a picture in my head of me being separated. I had been warned that Kerala will be different from Chennai and that their exposure to “foreigners “ is less prevalent (insert sore thumb reference here).
Kerala is different from Chennai in that it is slightly more rural (most places can be considered slightly rural compared to Chennai which has a population of 9 million). We had a rough 2 + hour car ride to Uncle Koshy’s farm in Punalur. The farm is a highlight and fascinating with 35 rubber trees, coconut trees, banana trees, cashew trees and other tropical fruit I’d never even heard of. I find the rubber plantations most fascinating and something I had never had an experience with before. The rubber comes out of rubber trees much like sap comes out of maple trees. It is extracted into a coconut husk until it fills. When the bowl is full, the rubber is poured into a tub where it begins the drying process. Eventually it is hung on a clothesline to continue drying. Truly an amazing and interesting process. The rubber trees harvest 15 kilos of rubber each day and are taken to town to be laid out to a solid flat which is eventually turned into tread tires.
We also met Philip’s Uncle Babu who lives nearby in a retirement home. His Aunt Susan lives next door with his uncle who is actually currently working in Saudi Arabia. Spending time with this side of the family is totally exhausting as they don’t speak English with the exception of a 5 year old cousin who is at the top of her class and Philip’s Uncle Koshy who speaks “Indian English”. My ability to follow a conversation in Malayalam (the only language whose name is a palindrome) has improved. I actually can’t understand any word of it, except they mix in a few English words when there isn’t a Malayalam word to mean the same, so I can figure out what they are talking about. Also, their facial expressions and hand gestures really give away much of the subject and mood. Yesterday I proudly figured out an entire conversation about the driver who brought us a back from the airport and how he used a photo and the words “American girl” to determine who we were when we arrived. Of course, I can’t speak a lick of it and haven’t had much success with trying. While practicing calling Philip’s aunt by name the other evening, Philip suggested “I think you should probably stop because you keep calling her ‘Sewer’”.
After dinner a tour of the farm and dinner with the family we returned to the hotel where we sacked out immediately.

Monsoon, Monsoon go away!

It has been raining like crazy here. The house has water in the dining room. I’ve never seen such rain. The cab we rode in had water up to the doors and many motorcyclists had water flowing into the exhaust pipes. Most streets in Seattle would be closed with this much rain, but it is business as usual here.
We went shopping for party clothes today. Philip’s mom helped me pick out a Salwar Kameez which is a free-flowing dress worn over baggy pants. I chose one in green with stripes that I will likely wear to both of our receptions. The pants are an odd fit and the scarf get up is a challenge to keep on my shoulders. I think Philip’s mom was delighted to see me wearing something more traditional.
A driver drove us around in the Cherian car today as we shopped and saw sights. He would take us wherever we told him to and then sit while we did our business. This is sort of a different concept for me—someone else driving you around in your own car. We went to the St. Thomas church and saw where St. Thomas was laid to rest and we dined at a really nice hotel (very expensive, but guaranteed safe which Is my #1 rule). The driver waited outside the store while we shopped and looked for shoes for Philip’s mom as her sandals are coming apart.
We met a couple of friends, and neighbors today. Philip’s parents rent 2 flats below their house to a single woman and also a married couple. We met the married couple this morning. She works as a dentist and he works for Volvo. We also met Philip’s Hindi teacher from grade school. Apparently, he was her “pet student” and she still really admires and adores him. She was so upset that we did not call in advance so that she could prepare gifts and make lunch for us, but she and her husband were both very excited that we were there and they all chatted about old times at the school since Philip’s mom was the Vice Principal there.
Everyone we have met has told Philip how fat he is getting. Even though I do not speak the language, I now know how to say “you look so fat” in Tamil and Malayalam because that is always the greeting he receives. I’ve learned that this is not considered offensive, but merely a way of stating that he has changed and it is also a sign of prosperity. It seems to be a change they appreciate because everywhere we go there is so much food offered to us. I finally told Philip that we need to share with his extended family about the whole diabetic thing (his parents and brother know) because they seem so surprised when I refuse the many cakes, sugared beverages and biscuits set before us.
We were a bit concerned when we got home that Pratap was not there yet because of the crazy rain and flooding all around the city. When he arrived home with hamburgers from the local American restaurant, he said that it was only a bit of a struggle to get through the streets. It is funny how everyone remains so calm about something that would seemingly ruffle a lot of American feathers. This is truly an amazing country. They live through natural disasters every day.

Our first day in Chennai

As we head into our first full night in Chennai we are EXHAUSTED. Jet lag seems to have hit us full force and we are attempting to remain up until 8pm so that we can sleep all night and be on schedule (13 ½ hours ahead) in the morning. Today we had a great day of meeting friends and relatives. After starting the day with a cold shower, the day began with meeting Philip’s mom’s eldest sister who strongly chided us for not sending her an invitation to our wedding in Woodinville 2 years ago and attempted to make Philip feel guilty for not calling her on her birthday. I wasn’t sure about her reaction as I opened the door of the house—she was “hard to read” to say the least. After a deliciously spicy breakfast of rice pancakes, and goat curry we headed out to meet the Achen (priest) at the church. Philip’s parents are very involved in their church and so we spent some time getting to know the Achen and his wife. It was great to chat with them for a bit. He had spent some time as a priest in Philadelphia, so we made food and traffic comparisons and Philip discovered that he had met him previously when he attended a service he hosted with a cousin in Philadelphia.Philip’s dad drove us around the city this morning. On our way to the church, I got my second India traffic experience and my first experience with sharing a street with casual livestock--a water buffalo walked along side us on the road for a time and we also had to honk the horn quite aggressively to move a cow out of the middle of the street. Honking is a different notion here. It is not reserved for emergencies or when someone has dozed off at a red light. We hear horns honking through the day and night. Horns let others using the road that you are within 3 inches of bumping their “bumper” in whatever form this may be—remembering that we are sharing a road with pedestrians (many barefoot-walking in the middle of the road—no sidewalk); school aged children (some in uniforms and just released from school and others assisting at rode-side markets or chatting up friends as they saunter down the center of the road); bicyclists; many, many motorcycles and scooters; buses; auto and bicycle rickshaws and, of course, the livestock mentioned above. You also use your horn to signify that you are crossing an intersection. It can take anywhere between 5 seconds and 10 minutes to pass between intersections depending on what gets in your way. I witnessed the truth behind the following saying: “in the hierarchy of Indian traffic, buses come first followed by: SUV’s, cars, auto rickshaws, motorcycles, scooters, bicyclists, livestock and THEN pedestrians. We also met our friend Deepak’s mom this afternoon. We listened to her woes about how her only son, who is now well into his 30’s, has not yet settled down with a wife. She is very concerned about this and enlisted Philip’s help to find him a suitable bride and get him hitched A.S.A.P. She was not so subtle about the fact that Deepak’s wife should be Indian. Before leaving she offered us a very sweet rice treat and water. I was glad I had been warned about drinking water here because when we left I was asked, “you didn’t drink the water she offered, did you?” Because I’m not so fond of the “sanitary” conditions, and nervous about having to spend a significant amount of time in the w/c I have avoided anything the least bit questionable and never try anything first.Judy is the downstairs renter here and I was taken to meet her when we got back to the house. She is a very kind soul and has been hearing from Philip’s mom for quite some time that we are coming for a visit. She was a bit embarrassed when Philip joined our conversation because of her modest dress which I envied as my long-sleeved t has kept me adequately covered, but very warm.

Arrival in Chennai

After 30 hours of rushing through airports, travelling from day to night and then morning again on the plane, and then a car-ride experience, we’ve arrived at Philip’s parents’ home in Madras. On our way over, I shared with Philip my excitement about all I get to see and do over the next couple of weeks and he responded, “Well, I just hope you don’t barf.” That comment certainly provided me with the sense of security I was looking for. Oddly enough, the flight from Seattle to Paris was rotten, but Air France nearly redeemed itself with the service to Madras. Of course, it may have been that we actually caught some shut eye on the second flight. We nearly missed our connecting flight from Paris to Madras as our flight from Seattle was late. The Charles de Gaulle airport is an absolute mess and we took a shuttle bus in circles around the terminals several times before reaching our gate. Fortunately, with the assistance of some Tylenol p.m. we got about 4 hours of actual sleep time in before arriving in Madras. In total we spend about 11 ½ hours flying to Paris from Seattle and 11 hours from Paris to Madras.After making it through customs, Philip’s parents and brother were there to greet among masses of other folks waiting for their family members to arrive or waiting for the next person in desperate need of a cab. They had hired a car and driver to come to get us. We all packed into the Qualis (with Philip’s dad in the way back and no seatbelts). It was quite a drive back. Much of it was along a road that was about 3 lanes wide, but still left me inquiring to Philip, “Are there designated lanes on the roads?” Drivers drove on whichever section of the road they felt they fit—sometimes there was one other vehicle right next to us, other times we were 4 vehicles across nearly bumping mirrors. We whipped in and out of the way of auto- rickshaws, buses, bicycles and stray dogs—all this at 2:30 in the morning. The roads are filled with potholes that have been broken up by the monsoons and do not resemble Seattle city roads and streets. The driver (with his own car) picked up Philip’s parents at their house, waited with them at the airport because our flight was nearly 2 hours late and then drove us back to the house which is over an hour away from the airport. All that and the rental of the car and driver cost a mere $15 America. That’s likely how we’ll get around most of the time we’re in Madras. My first impressions of Madras were created in the darkness of the morning, so I am looking forward to a few days out and about to really see what the city is like. Everyone here is doing well and they are delighted that we will be here for a few days. They each ask several times over how my family is doing and particularly inquire about Karsten and Blair. It was great to meet Pratap—Philip’s brother and I was happy to discover that when we travel to Kerala I will not be the only one who does not speak the native language as he finds it difficult to communicate with his aunts and uncles. I suppose, Philip will be translating for both of us. Last note, we can’t make international calls from the house so we’ll go around to the corner shop to do so. We’ll do this as often as we can to keep in touch and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

At the airport

And we are getting ready to board. We are at the gate waiting and Ghee has already had her first dose of Tums :-) We're both very excited to get going. There was a ton of people waiting to get on to the flight to Korea. In fact Ghee mentioned that there were a "Seoul lotta people waiting to get on board" Our next post is likely going to be from India because theres only an hour between arrival in Paris and departure to Chennai formerly known as Madras.

Ghee has her running shoes on and I've got my Keen sandals with socks which is a fashion faux pas according to Ghee. Later Gators!

Beginning the official countdown

We woke up this morning to a big bummer in our driveway. Last night, both of our cars were ransacked and bulguralized. Both of our handy GPS devices were taken; as well as, a few cd's and other misc. items. That put sort of a crink in our morning and police reports, alerting neighbors and determining missing items set us back a couple of hours.
We're finally sitting down to relax after a day of sorting, packing and a bit of shopping. A phone call to India this morning led us on a bit of a chase looking for Almond Roca, Equal and paper towels--which we can't seem to squeeze into the 2 inches we have left in our 2 pieces of checked luggage. We are so excited and know that'll keep us up this evening, so we're trying to put the finishing touches on preparations and get to bed early.
The liquid container issue with the airline has proven to be frustrating as we'd like to pack multiple 32 ounce bottles of hand sanitizer. We hope we've estimated accurately and we'll be permitted to carry on all that we've stuffed into our bags. The whole diabetic thing is a bit of a hassle because it takes nearly a suitcase to haul all of the supplies; most of which I'll just haul back. Tomorrow we board the plane...next stop: Paris, France. Whoo-hoo!

Preparations

The countdown has begun! In less than 2 weeks we'll arrive in another country...another continent! We're going to India for winter holiday.
So far, preparations have consisted merely of paperwork and vaccinations and a trip to the farm to drop off Juan for a few weeks. Philip has completed mounds of paperwork and Gretchen (now with a 10 year Visa to go to India anytime thanks to Philip's paperwork) experienced a series of vaccinations along with the side effects. Besides using Philip's personal knowledge, we've done some research regarding how to pack and prepare for the trip. Most entries warn me of "New Delhi Belly" or other lurking illnesses I'm bound to experience from the food or water and they all suggest that it'll be the trip of a lifetime.
Our house is full of excitement and curiousity.